Dating in middle age…well, it’s different from dating when we were younger and met someone in person. IRL—in real life—is the acronym used nowadays.

I’m offering up a few pointers to new daters and the date-weary. Online dating is not for the tender, but then neither is getting older.

1. Don’t take online dating personally 

If you take online dating personally, you’ll give up before you meet your honey.

Online dating can be fun, but you’ve got to approach it with the right attitude and the energy to see it through.

You’ll need to meet a lot of people, and middle aged daters aren’t always willing to put in the time. Many don’t have the tenacity to hang in there.

If you are meeting new people, which is what online dating is all about, you’ll connect with only a few. You are deciding who is worth your time.

Rejection is a normal part of the dating process.


2. Don’t write a boring online profile and don’t write boring emails

You’ve got a profile up to get possible dates to contact you. Put details in there, and yes, paint a picture. Tell them about your trip to Disneyland, how you went on every spine-wrenching ride, or your love of thin crust pizza. You want them to email you back and ask a question. Make it easy. Put some meat in your profile, even if you’re a vegetarian.

The same goes with emails. Something a tad provocative (with taste) or a question that requires a full sentence to respond goes a long way. Don’t settle for: I like your profile. Read mine. We might have something in common.

You can do better than that by grabbing something from their profile and asking a question or commenting. Does he play tennis? Ask if he’s up for a tennis meet and coffee afterward.

3. Don’t make a first meet or a date into an interview

Sometimes, older daters focus on inappropriate details. They are in a hurry to begin a relationship and feel that interviewing will speed up the process.

Don’t quiz anyone on their divorce. Don’t quiz them on finances either. You may think you’re being subtle, but it won’t work. Look at each one of your meets as if they’re the best thing since the iPad. Be your charming self, the self you are with your friends.

Flirt a little, and don’t tell me you don’t flirt with your friends ’cause we all do! Friend-flirting is a thing.


4. Don’t spend more than a few minutes talking about your family

You may disagree, but too many over-fifty daters dwell on their grandkids on a first meet. I’m talking dwell, as in going on and on about your loved ones. Seriously, you need to establish a connection based on mutual values and passions shared. There’s plenty of time for the joy of family.

Later, when you’re dating.

5. Don’t talk about your health problems or your impending surgery

For heaven’s sake, that means no talking about that prostate, varicose veins or…you get my point.

Keep it light. Yes, you may have challenges health-wise, and who doesn’t? Save it for later, when you can both share and certainly when you know each other better.

Got any opinions about what NEVER to do when online dating? Tell me in the COMMENTS.


6. Don’t give up looking, and a word about rejection

Most important? When you’re rejected, move on. Meet someone else soon, and don’t look back.

Everyone needs a break from the online grind, but get back on that train. Don’t let rejection stop the momentum. Look to your friends for support if you’re going through a tough spell.

Use rejections as a positive element in your search. You’re that much closer to your special person than you were before the rejection.

Corny, yes, but true.

Distance dating during Covid times is a DO!  

Dating during these Covid times is possible with the right precautions. I have two friends dating now, and another who’s just moved in with her honey. They met in February 2020 and isolated and got tested. I love these stories. Check out this article  on dating now during the pandemic.

Anything is possible!


Photo by lalo Hernandez on Unsplash

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