Dating in middle age…well, it’s different from dating when we were younger and met someone in person. IRL—in real life—is the acronym used nowadays. I’m offering up a few pointers to new daters and the date-weary. Online dating is not for the tender, but then neither is getting older. 1. Don't take online dating personally  If you take online dating personally, you’ll give up before you meet your honey. Online dating can be fun, but…

Can men and women be friends-only? We are a group of seven women of a certain age, sitting around the dinner table (yes, there is wine), talking about relationships. Since we don’t know one another that well, there are lots of questions. “What about men friends,” I ask. “It’s harder at our age, but do you have male pals?” Out of the seven, two have male acquaintances, but only one has a male friend. “I…

Three different, guys. Each one with different issues. You’ve had dinner with all three. Would you go out again with any of them? For my opinion, scroll to the bottom. 1. The Date Who Talks About Past Relationships on the First Meet He should have been a therapist. His conversations are deep discoveries into why his last four liaisons—including two divorces—imploded. He loves being in a relationship. Ideally, the hanging out phase would begin soon…

Dating Blooper #1  The Spinach Profile What's your dating profile? It's not just your photo. It's also your story.     Consider how bland a spinach salad tastes without a little dressing. Or how bleh cooked spinach is without a little oil and garlic.                          Here's a plate of plain old spinach.     That’s your profile if you haven’t added a little balsamic vinegar, oil…

It's been a while since we've talked about anything datey. I have a few friends who are distance dating, and one friend who's met her honey. They just bought a house together.  So, yes, distance dating is a thing.  If you talked or “met” on a dating site before Covid, but didn’t get together, now could be the time. In spite of the pandemic, dating––at a distance––is a happening thing. But if your profile reads…

Try On a Naturally Positive Attitude  I had another of those relationship discussions recently with a few single friends. What they have in common is all have plunged into online dating.  And everyone agrees that online dating is more painful than a dental scaling and root planing of all four quadrants of your mouth.  With one exception.  Miranda (not her real name), has no complaints about internet dating.  She dumped her boyfriend of two years,…

Reasons To Give Clueless Guy a Chance We women are natural born detectives, putting together all kinds of  clues to figure out men’s behavior. Lucky for us, we have help. Girlfriends, coworkers, sons, daughters, and aunts. Even the gang at the gym will lend an opinion; in fact, several women in my zumba class are very interested in my love life.  And don’t discount that old bible of daters, He’s Just Not That Into You.…

This is for the guys out there. And ladies, feel free to take a peek. So you'll know we guys aren't quite as tough as we'd like you to think. Rejection is our middle name. When it comes to any kind of dating, we're the ones taking the body blows. Imagine this: you're on the dating site, scrolling through all the lovelies. You see her. A great smile and let's face it, great legs. Who…

Saturday afternoon. I am food shopping with my friend Peter, something we do from time to time after hiking. We’re loitering in Seafood, leaving threads of dirt from our boots wherever we walk. We each hold a service number. “I’m thinking shrimp cocktail. Sole with lemon-butter. I make a mean lemon-butter sauce. Arugula and brown rice.” Peter brags about his cooking about as often as the average man pulls on boxers. “Pretty special for a…

I’m Sunny Chanel, the main character in Middle Ageish, Shirley’s novel. Fifty and dating. A lot. Did I have a choice? The woman invented me. She dated. She wrote. She stuck me in the novel. She even broke my heart. Lots of those meets in the novel were the real thing, but who can tell what’s true from truish? I’ve lost track myself. I’ll bet Shirley’s lost track too. She carried a little notebook to…